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He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.
He’s also the arch-nemesis of The Resigned Fiance, who’s in an equally unhappy relationship but just kind of kept going with it, unable to resist the sweet, sweet inertia, and who most certainly does not want to hear about The New Lease On Life Guy’s latest exploits.
The Total Package has a hell of a career going, but don’t you for a second suggest that The Total Package would be a workaholic—The Total Package is a family man.
There’s just one thing The Total Package seems to be having a hard time finding—a girl worthy of his greatness.
Some will tell you that they’ve finally figured it all out and some more will say they feel hopeless for the first time in their lives. But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of 30-year-old single guys.
But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started.
There was a field that needed to be played, and he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 24.
Realizing this about five years after everyone else, he takes a deep sigh and cranks his standards down a few big notches.
On the other side of the coin, after losing some weight, getting decent clothes, and having early career success, The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch is getting more attention each week than he got in his first 25 years combined.
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Based on my own experience and on polls of my 30-something single friends, I've pieced together an in-depth analysis of the pros and cons of 20-somethings and 30-somethings. 20-somethings have roommates and want to go back to your place. 20-somethings might have some leftover pizza and ranch dressing in the fridge. 20-somethings want to get to Mc Donald's before they stop serving breakfast.