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They might tell you you are not allowed to hang out with a certain person anymore, or wear a certain shirt, or go to a certain restaurant. Because they have a depressing family life, come from a broken home, had parents that didn’t love them right, are in debt, can’t hold a job, have a disease, a psychotic ex, a broken heart, low self-esteem….whatever their story is, they will make you feel sympathy for it. As real as they might be, and as sad as they might be, they are a trap that keeps you stuck. Abuse Is Not Romantic Art Blog Current Affairs Eleven Featured inspiration Links Outside Resources personal reflection Poetry quotes Rape Rape Culture Recovery Relationship Violence Resources for Victims Sex Sexual Assault Think About It Think About It Types of Abusers You Call This Love"According to a recent survey conducted by Liz Claiborne Inc.
Of course, your partner is allowed to do whatever he or she wants and you are not allowed to question them, but they will control everything you do. You can’t control what happened to them, and you can’t solve it for them.
They might call you fat in front of your friends, or make fun of your clothes. You don’t understand what went wrong, or why your partner acts the way they do or what you can do to make things better.
You might want to go to the movies–your partner will make sure you go out to dinner instead. He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them.
You might be terrified of what your partner will say or do if you tell them. He used to put you up on a pedestal…and now all he does is try to tear you down. From little things to big things, you feel like your partner never listens. They lie about things they don’t need to lie about. They can swear on their life that they are not lying. A healthy person is consistent in the way they treat people, regardless of their status. Your partner has a bad reputation or a tradition of “messy relationships”.
Something that regularly comes up in conversation is single parents’ concern over who their children are coming into contact with when they are not there. Statistics also tell us 95% of sexually abused children will know their perpetrator (I am not a single parent but many of my friends are.
Children who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner are at the highest risk of sexual abuse: they are 20 times more likely to be victims of sexual abuse than children living with both biological parents (As the writer of the children’s book on safe and unsafe touch ‘Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept’ as an advocate for Body Safety education both in the home and in schools, I hear many worrying and frankly very tragic stories from parents whose children have been sexually abused and adult survivors who were sexually abused as young children.